A common question I have gotten ever since it became obvious we would be moving, was why didn’t we just hire movers and fly out to our new home…wouldn’t that be a lot easier? While I now 100% agree with the HIRE MOVERS part (see note above) I could never imagine making this journey and not slowly driving into it. The transition from urban, then country and now dessert life already felt dramatic enough….I knew how we made the transition would be important. That parachuting into our new terrain would have a very different feel than having a relationship with the wild and winding road in between.
Something I often tell students is the importance of buffering time….give yourself time between one thing and the next; digest and try not to rush. After class, wait 5-10 minutes before checking your phone. When coming home from vacation, give yourself a day to do the laundry, make a good meal, soak in the time away. And if you are making a big life changing move, take some time to consider what it really means and what you are really stepping into.
6 days ago I was in Wilton NH, sobbing inside of our moving truck – at the moment because half our furniture wouldn’t fit – but for many obvious reasons beyond that. You may have heard the saying that ‘life is learning how to let go’….true. But man, when the letting goes come on one after another like an avalanche, all you want to do is hold on.
Goodbye new friends, new students, new doctors, new grocery stores, new routines.
Goodbye little cafe 5 minute walk from the house.
Goodbye house on the hill.
Goodbye neighbors less than 6 miles away.
Goodbye teaching yoga Every. Single. Week. for the past 15 years (….for now anyway).
Goodbye half my furniture. No, most of my furniture (always get the bigger truck. Or, HIRE MOVERS).
My last night in our old house, I woke up at 2:30 in the morning to the sound of crickets and started crying. What if there were no crickets in New Mexico? What would be the sound out there instead? I had been dreaming since the day I moved into Brooklyn of the day I would fall asleep to crickets – I just got here! I drifted back to sleep, only to wake up again at 3:30. To deafening silence. I mean, I have never heard it so absolutely quiet. There was nothing. It was creepy. And uncomfortable. But also peaceful, and spacious. I drifted away again. 4:30. A new sound. The birds! I totally forgot – there are birds!! In my sorrow over the crickets, I completely forgot there would be birds.
As nice as it sounds to take space and time in-between, I think we all know that life does not often work like that. Most of our biggest changes have hard edges and feel like something is being ripped away. So it feels extra important when you have a chance, a precious chance, to spend some time in the quite void between one thing, one breath, one thought – and the next, take it.
It’s 2,096 miles later. 10 states, 7 hotels, 4 family pit-stops later. Countless gas stations, plates of french fries, car dance parties and rambling conversations later. But most importantly – 2,096 miles of wide open wandering spacious mind later – and I am happy to report I am getting excited for the birds.
At the end of yoga class, we alway practice Savasana – corpse pose. A practice in letting go. The point it to practice letting go while you can, so when the real letting go comes (as it inevitably will) you are a little more ready. Not ready because you know there will be birds, but because you have learned to let go. I’m not quite there yet. Remembering that there will be birds is helping a lot. But who knows, maybe I’ll get there…we still have 263 more miles to go 🙂
3 thoughts on “7 days”
Julianna, this is beautiful writing – thank you for sharing it, I loved reading it and identified so much with all that had to do with leaving the hill. It was really painful for me when I first left, but with time (two years now!) I am just deeply grateful for my time there AND for all the new doors that have opened and adventures that I’ve had. From what I’ve heard of your new adventure it sounds like you’ve got some pretty powerful new doors opening up in your and Brad’s life. Blessings on this beginning and on the endings!